Thursday, November 10, 2005

Weak day

Last night was hard. I was cold, bored and lonely. My room is freezing, TV is boring but the room is warm. I ate too many carbs and got depressed. Have eaten almost a bar of chocolate a day.

Finally got an email from Claire. So good to hear from her, that I sent a long 'been in the woods too long' reply. She probably thinks I'm mad, but it was good to vent and it was mainly upbeat.

Day 4 He-Tox

Today I replied to his joke that he sent yesterday with 'was that meant for me?' because it seemed very random thing to send. He replied, 'Yes, probably inappropriate'.

That's when I should have stopped, but I didn't and made some joke. Then got so mad at myself for replying. That I wanted to walk so fast that I fell out of my skin. He replied and now I'm staring at my draft of angry vindictive and trying very hard to not send it. Taking myself away from PC now.

The thing is I'm mainly angry with myself, not him. So telling him off won't do anything. I'm angry that I went out with another guy that turned into a jerk - why can't i pick 'em? Angry that I believed him when he droppped the 'l' word last weekend.

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