He tox update

I was doing sooo well. Saturday was a big day. I had a good 1.5 hour gym session and then shopped at Portobello markets, bought 4 skirts, a caridigan, a scarf, 2 cook books, one novel, one magazine, and a cookie.

Went out to meet John. He asked me for George's friend's number so I texted George for it. He txted back a bit.

Sunday got up and went axe shopping. Saw some great guitars but decided that based on my level of skill and athritis, I should stick to a beginners guitar and wait until i could afford it.

had a minor slip in the pedestrian subway, where I rehurt my toe. It really is killing me now. Must go to doctors tomorrow about it.

George called me. He wants to come over and talk. He's on his way right now. Nervous as hell. Didn't shave my legs on purpose to avoid getting naked with him. REally don't know what he wants, or how I'm going to feel. I think I could go on seeing him indefinitely and it would never be bad, but it would also never be amazing. It would be at times, but it won't lead to marriage or commitment or true love. It's basically good enough, but not perfect. I don't know. maybe perfect doesn't exist. all i really want is someone that is kind and funny and fairly handsome and outgoing, that wants to travel with me, be monogamous and is man enough to deal with how he feels... not run away one week after dropping the 'l' word...

shit. shit. shit... why did I say yes?