The past is in my thoughts today. It's a cloying feeling, like a bit of death has walked by... Can't really collect my thoughts about it.
Must be a lack of serotonin in my brain after weekend indulgences because I burst into tears at my desk Wednesday morning. It could've also been the email from ghosts of boyfriends past too. I was overcome with a wall of grief and anger, beyond reason, and all I could do was cry and cry.
Wish I could say that I'm not angry anymore, but I am... I'm disappointed in myself that I am still so hurt. Life is too short for that, I know this, and I hope I can let the anger go sometime.
Am I happy? I don't know. Is happiness fleeting and transitory? Can people make their own happiness? Is happiness with another person a weaker and more vulnerable form? I miss my friends. It's nice to make new ones but they have their own language, their own collective memories and minds. Nostalgia for them is the sweetest drink. To me, it leaves a funny aftertaste.
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