I miss my tutu

This month I've lost my:

* Luggage - twice. Returned to me on both occasions.
* Good pair of black interview trousers. Accused G of sleep-eating them.
* Brand new elf hat. Oh, it pains me to think about. Oh elf hat. Where are thee?
* Sobriety. Too many times.
* Dignity. Tied in with loss of sobriety.
* Memory. See above. Maybe they should be one bullet.
* Tan. Winter's a-comin'. Working on the moon-tan.
* Fear of relationships and commitment. Maybe. It comes and goes.
* Job prospects. Nothing in the pipeline.
* Creativity. I blame the vampiric and soporific effect of this job for draining me of imagination/will to live. It's become so bad that I've written this sentence 3 times.

On work, thought I'd share these two anecdotes with you.

New client supplied list of marketing vocabulary to be worked into case studies. Linst includes: "Organic", "Strategise" and, my favourite, "aha". The Aha! factor. And it's not 'Take on Me'.

Secondly, the last sentence of case study from France that I had to repurpose recently.

"Thanks to the efficiency of the technicians, every member of staff
were in their new working environment by the Monday of that week - and
they began to smile again..."

Back to writing about mainframes and plastic pipe distributors. Masturbating makes you blind, which is why we gimps get paid to write wank for these short-dicked evil little monsters.