Have you slimed yet?

This is punchline of some joke told to me by a colleague about a romantic turn of phrase by an Australian girl. Yes, I'm from Bogan county, a cultural backwater, as I'm endlessly, needlessly reminded. Yesterday G infuriatingly corrected my pronounciation of 3 words - Degas, croissant, yoghurt. Him and his band of condescending Oxbridge half-soaked, lazy ne'er-do-well friends that didn't do a day of work until they were 25, and have never washed a dish.

The flight back was pretty rough. Think I'm still recovering from it. Loads of turbulence. Had a 60 min stop in Hong Kong, which is just enough time to go through security, be patted down/felt up by stern men in white gloves, buy a small $5 water and contract avian flu.

Finally touched down in Heathrow, to find some idiot took my bag by mistake. That bag is cursed. It was delivered to my house later that evening with a complimentary box of choccies, so all is well now.

Off to Hamble this weekend with Ry and folks. First Portsmouth for the anniversary of Battle of Trafalgar. Should be loads of Nelson memorabilia etc. BYO eyepatch. Britain is proud of its military victories and colonising slaughters.

Then its Hamble, a big house with 8 people drinking, eating, playing games, getting messy. Sounds fun, but I'm expecting everyone to turn into swines and monsters. Last time one of the girls got so messed up she started f*cking some random guy right next to her boyfriend, just to piss him off. Ugly scene. Must prepare myslef for full teenage dramas and upsets like I'm going into battle, and it's all because of their little friend Charlie the c*nt (otherwise known as Kate Moss' marching powder). Why is he at every gathering?

HST: "Morality is temporary, wisdom is permanent ."

Other news of the week - I'm being pitched for a job at the UK offices of IDG - my old employer - as online editor of a consumer mag. So totally opposite my skills as print editor of a business mag. Should be interesting... Excellent money though. Yummy.

HST: "I have spent half my life trying to get away from journalism, but I am still mired in it - a low trade and a habit worse than heroin, a strange seedy world full of misfits and drunkards and failures."