Text slut

Last night I spent online drunkenly looking for jobs and getting flirty on the txt with a work colleague, which was fun but not wise. Made a tit of myself. He only said 'are you at the pub?'. Basically translates as 'you must be pissed' but in my pissed state I thought it meant he wanted to join me and replied 'Nope, at home'.

Got frustrated at lack of jobs on Internet and ended up fooling about with my tax, and then, in the most typical time-waster style, did my IQ test. Got a score of 154. Depressing. Why am I doing such braindead work? Not that I hold any stock in those tests. Remember when I was a kid I asked mum what my IQ was and she said 'oh, I don't remember. I do know your brother has a high IQ.' Devastated.

Today, I extended the tit making ability. Told this guy I regretted the flirty txting and was going to stop the office flirting. He replied 'you'll save a fortune in txts'. Think it was meant to be a funny and polite let down, but it still came across as the Big Rejection. So I tried to justify it be joking that my txts are free, but technically I'm not. I explained that I wanted a friend, and not after an office affair, which is 100% true but sounds very sad and false. What's that expression about sleeping dogs? Again he was polite with a 'No probs. It's fine'. But again I couldn't let it rest, must have been hit by some kind of honesty drug, and spilled the beans that I'm going away to Turkey with this guy. Oh, the jealousy card is the last measure of the desperate!

Now, I'm looking back and wondering if I completely misread the situation. Get such a mixed vibe from this guy, and I know I'm also sending a mixed vibe. Maybe there was a chemistry... Anyway, too late now. I just blew any chance out of the water! Yay me!

It's true that I would like a bit of friendship. It's hard starting out in a new city. You get to that age where you have your group of friends, and you don’t tend to think of expanding that group. It's not like primary school where you bond over both liking pink lemonade. While I have met some great people, they tend to have their own group and only invite me to things when they think of it. Say, if I ran into them in the street they would say ‘oh, what are you doing this Saturday? We are all doing blah, come along.’ The invites are a matter of luck, being in the right place at the right time. Whereas at home, I was on the top tier for invites from all my five friends! It’s not personal, just the way people are, but it is hard.

And this bit about Turkey is true. I leave tomorrow with GM. Again, another complicated situation I'd rather not go into, but things are good.