Internal monoblog

Went bike shopping with George at Brick Lane. Dodgy Brick Lane has definitely become my new favourite market. It was like downtown Delhi, with a smattering of Polish influence, greasy Geezers flogging jellied eels, Russians with pickled octopus, boutiques, antiques, spices, cars endangering pedestrians... and loads of hot bikes. They would wheel them in, and sell them within minutes. Did not want them there for when the police came around. It was definitely a professional operation. Still, being short made it difficult. Only 14"!

Finally found a bike which fitted, but we decided to do a circuit before purchase. When we got back, he had packed up and gone away. Probably got a sniff of bacon. Hate that expression, but it was obviously a circumspect departure.

Not sure what is happening with George. Neither of us seem to be wanting anything serious, but he seems to always want to hold my hands, like he has a fetish. Maybe that's how we exchange long energy strands. I'm happy to leave the contact there.

He leaves for Glasto in a few days, then Paris and Norway. So that is probably the end of that. I don't really miss having a boyfriend to worry about. Certainly don't miss the hurt and confusion. I don't even care about the naughty stuffy. But I do miss affection, not sexual - both giving and recieving. Still, it's an effort when you don't actually care about the person.

Maybe that is what it was like for the ex. Maybe he just got exhaused going through the motions, which included a ticket to London and a road trip through Ireland. Still, sometimes I worry that there was something/someone happened around March for things to get so cold. Maybe there was someone else, someone that made him steam up his glasses. Something that I could blame apart from myself.

Weekend was a scorcher! 33 degree days. I actually got a bit sunburnt, even with sunblock. We also lost the cricket against England - bad, and Bangladesh - SHOCKING!