The rejection

It's been a while, and I have loads of news re work, boys, work and boys, boys at work. But as blogging at work is a big no-no, I only have time to relate one story.

Today I asked out the office crush on messenger, because I was too nervous when we were together. I got turned down. Not so good.

I do feel a spark when we're together, and his eyes seem to glow, but I don't know how much of it is just imagined and how much is real. Since reading his book, and getting to know him, I have fallen for him more and more. It's a strange and lovely way to get to know someone and to fall for them, through their words. It's never really been like that with anyone else.

It's not quite love or anything as big as that, but it's potential. It's something. It's a crush.

Me: I had a nice time last night. Next time, do you think it would be weird if we considered it a date? I'm not very good at these things.

Him: It would be kinda wierd yeah, let's stick to friends if that's ok

...

Have you gone quiet for a reason?

Me: Quiet because embarrassed. but had to ask.

Him: Don't be embarrassed. No reason to be.

Me: OK. I think we get along really well, I like you and we're both single, so why not? But then again, we're good friends and I'd rather not fuck that up either. I know the timing isn't so good either, but it never is.

Him: As an aside, I can't imagine it going down too well with Rob either! But that's not the reason. Friends is good, more is leading into headfuck territory, never a good place to set up camp.

Me: I understand. I don't want to fuck with anyone's head, or make things awkward etc with your friends. I'm only here for 9 more months anyway.

Him: 9 months is ages. You could have a little Bon by then then

Me: A baby? steady on. I only asked you for a drink.