Why did I abandon thee?

So many reasons, partly technical. I have no PC, and tend to borrow my flattys. Last house I had none at all, and the last thing I wanted to do was write at work. Spies everywhere. Plus I was so busy maintaining the work blog: www.bucketofshitblog.com What it should have been called anyway.

Partly lack of lustre in my life. It gets dull whinging over the same old ground. And then it gets hard to start again, once you've stopped.

And what's new? Well, as you know, I got back with George and things were good. I went home to sort out the visa. I missed my family. Saw the ex, and there was a spark. He held me on the street and I walked away. I got back to London and kept up my running. George and I were good again. But then I had a job from hell - not paying me. not publishing mags. Not distributing mags. fending calls from angry subscribers. trying to write features to unrealistic deadlines, in office that was shit. on old macs. there weren't even any teaspoons, and we had to buy our own milk! No soap in the toilet. I was working till 3am in this shit hole. Plus I was living and working close, so I was constantly in a 'zone'.

Then I quit the job and they didn't give garden leave and got me to finish in a week, so I was unemployed for a month while my visa switched over. It rained the whole time.

Things got worse with George and me, the whole stress about whether I could stay in the country or had to leave, the constant work, then sudden lack of it, the not being paid and his attitude that things had to centre around him. It took its toll. I got snappy. He got sullen. He also planned a holiday with his mates over my birthday, without me, because he forgot. It meant we couldn't have a holiday together. Enough dirty laundry, but we broke up. Not in a nice way, but not the worst way either.

Then, wow, things turned around. New job is great. Area is great - no crack heads. It's all pretty and old London. Glastonbury, lovely. Kissed a sweey guy at Stone Circle. Planning a summer holiday. I quit the running, but I think I'm ready to start again, or get some hobby. don't want to start a relationship just yet, but I am tempted by the good kisser. He's taking me to the theatre tomorrow night.

If only it would stop friggin raining! I wish I was over G too..