Been missing emails from home. I look forward to opening my emails in the morning and get disappointed at the absence of emails from Australian friends and relatives. I've even started reading the ex's blog again, just so I can get some news, picture of Sydney life.
Remember, remember the fifth of November.
It's Guy Fawkes day tomorrow. I'm looking forward to it. I have hazy memories of Guy Fawkes before it was 'outlawed' in Oz.
There was the bonfire in the bottom park at Cromer. Someone always throws a bottle in, and everyone panics that it will explode. Don't even know if that's true, beer bottles explode in fires, but we always got in a flap about it. Once I threw a doll in the fire. Mum got mad, but it was worth it, watching its face deform and mutate in the flames.
My brother and sister got firework lighting privileges. Mum used to hold me back, which I resented. Sister burned a hole in the trampoline by lighting a Catherine wheel on it.
I was obsessed with the fireworks that had men with parachutes come out, but they always landed on the other side of the back fence in the yard of the 'nasty' neighbours. We never got them back.
One year we spent bonfire night in Blue Mountains - which had the biggest bonfire I'd ever seen. Gave me nightmares, which I still have on occasion.
Friday, November 04, 2005
Thursday, November 03, 2005
A special mention
This blog is about G, who deserves a special mention today for being such an oddball. When I met him I didn't think we had anything in common. He's so damn young, that it's hard to imagine a future. Still, he's got me hooked. Like the song goes, I can't get him out of my head. His funny emails make my day. He's been quiet this week, with extra work on...
Some G-isms:
After we were invited to a free Salsa night in Clapham park.
"Salsa was my first love, but the more competitions and prize money I won, I found myself becoming more and more detached from the dance itself. It’s all red carpets, champagne and celebrity endorsements these days when really all I ever wanted to do was Salsa. It’s that simple. If I went to Clapham tonight I wouldn’t be able to enjoy myself with all the screaming fans, paparazzi and freebies that I get showered with at these events. I’m sure you can sympathise."
...
CONGRATULATIONS!!!
YOU ARE THE 1,000TH PERSON TO SEND G* AN EMAIL AND HAVE WON A SPECIAL, LUXURY, BONUS WEEKEND!!!
Your boss has been notified and you are free to leave the office right now for two days of relaxation and leisure!
ENJOY!!!
...
Me: Milkshake milkshake
G: Strawberry smoothie, Greek yoghurt.
Me: Marshmallow. Sausage.
G: American Pie, Bratwurst
...
Me: My new baggy t-shirt makes me look a little bit pregnant. I can walk up to a guy in the street and say ‘Yous knocked me up and Pa says yous gots to marry me or he’ll shoot you like a dawg.”
G: Be careful, that’s a sure-fire way to get married. Proposals like that are legally binding in this country.
Other ways of forming a legally binding contract that you should know about:
Spitting on hands and shaking
Winking
Mutual tickling
You have been warned.
...
I realised this morning that you left your chewing gum at mine last weekend. As I might not see you in the next couple of days, I will post this to you this afternoon and, God willing, it should arrive safe and sound tomorrow.
I know you must be pretty distressed to learn this and, for what it’s worth, I can only express my deepest regret that it didn’t come to my attention earlier.
At what must be a difficult and trying time for you and your family, I offer you my support and a shoulder to cry on. Together we can make it through this sorry mess.
...
G (on my expensive shoe buying habit):
Your punishment for crimes against your bank balance is to incinerate the shoes and snort the ashes, all of them, right up, deep and hard. Failure to do this will result in immediate and total destruction of Australia.
...
Just Googled sake and apparently it's best to reduce its temperature to -150 degrees using liquid nitrogen, shatter it into a fine powder with a simple knock and snort it in 10 kilo doses.
This is said to have quite "pronounced effects".
...
If you haven’t got their email addys, just make them up. They should still get there thanks to the benevolent interweb operators who look after emails and websites and stuff.
Just make sure they don’t get into the hands of the evil web weevils who spread viruses, crash computers and alter emails to say the exact opposite of what was written. Buggers.
...
Found this travel news on the interweb…
'Flights out of London Heathrow are likely to be subject to delay over the next few weeks whilst British Airways technicians complete the task of fitting AMRAAM air-to-air missiles and 30mm machine cannon to all of BA's Boeing 747 and 757 aircraft.
'A spokesman for the company insisted that, despite increasing competition between airlines, the "modifications" were entirely an anti-terrorism measure, and would only only be used to fire upon rival airlines' planes "if they get in the way".'
...
Know very little about online publishing trends, other than the !BLOGGING PHENOMENON! Will life ever be the same again?
...
Whoops! I just accidentally put the phrase "die you f*cking c*nt sh*tter" in an email to my boss.
...
Me (angry): There is no lexicon for the gesture I’m making at the monitor right now.
G: I’ll try to put it into words: You are feeling avant-garde and you are saluting the screen. Close?
...
G: Forgot to mention earlier that your bling-o-meter rating has been steadily increasing to a barely credible 4.7 out of 5. At this rate, you’ll make senior vice-president for bling by the end of the year.
I’m so proud of you.
...
“This is one of the most exciting times in Horse & Hound's history”
Not as exciting as back in ’83 when they discovered that horses could fly when people weren’t looking. Ah, the memories…
Some G-isms:
After we were invited to a free Salsa night in Clapham park.
"Salsa was my first love, but the more competitions and prize money I won, I found myself becoming more and more detached from the dance itself. It’s all red carpets, champagne and celebrity endorsements these days when really all I ever wanted to do was Salsa. It’s that simple. If I went to Clapham tonight I wouldn’t be able to enjoy myself with all the screaming fans, paparazzi and freebies that I get showered with at these events. I’m sure you can sympathise."
...
CONGRATULATIONS!!!
YOU ARE THE 1,000TH PERSON TO SEND G* AN EMAIL AND HAVE WON A SPECIAL, LUXURY, BONUS WEEKEND!!!
Your boss has been notified and you are free to leave the office right now for two days of relaxation and leisure!
ENJOY!!!
...
Me: Milkshake milkshake
G: Strawberry smoothie, Greek yoghurt.
Me: Marshmallow. Sausage.
G: American Pie, Bratwurst
...
Me: My new baggy t-shirt makes me look a little bit pregnant. I can walk up to a guy in the street and say ‘Yous knocked me up and Pa says yous gots to marry me or he’ll shoot you like a dawg.”
G: Be careful, that’s a sure-fire way to get married. Proposals like that are legally binding in this country.
Other ways of forming a legally binding contract that you should know about:
Spitting on hands and shaking
Winking
Mutual tickling
You have been warned.
...
I realised this morning that you left your chewing gum at mine last weekend. As I might not see you in the next couple of days, I will post this to you this afternoon and, God willing, it should arrive safe and sound tomorrow.
I know you must be pretty distressed to learn this and, for what it’s worth, I can only express my deepest regret that it didn’t come to my attention earlier.
At what must be a difficult and trying time for you and your family, I offer you my support and a shoulder to cry on. Together we can make it through this sorry mess.
...
G (on my expensive shoe buying habit):
Your punishment for crimes against your bank balance is to incinerate the shoes and snort the ashes, all of them, right up, deep and hard. Failure to do this will result in immediate and total destruction of Australia.
...
Just Googled sake and apparently it's best to reduce its temperature to -150 degrees using liquid nitrogen, shatter it into a fine powder with a simple knock and snort it in 10 kilo doses.
This is said to have quite "pronounced effects".
...
If you haven’t got their email addys, just make them up. They should still get there thanks to the benevolent interweb operators who look after emails and websites and stuff.
Just make sure they don’t get into the hands of the evil web weevils who spread viruses, crash computers and alter emails to say the exact opposite of what was written. Buggers.
...
Found this travel news on the interweb…
'Flights out of London Heathrow are likely to be subject to delay over the next few weeks whilst British Airways technicians complete the task of fitting AMRAAM air-to-air missiles and 30mm machine cannon to all of BA's Boeing 747 and 757 aircraft.
'A spokesman for the company insisted that, despite increasing competition between airlines, the "modifications" were entirely an anti-terrorism measure, and would only only be used to fire upon rival airlines' planes "if they get in the way".'
...
Know very little about online publishing trends, other than the !BLOGGING PHENOMENON! Will life ever be the same again?
...
Whoops! I just accidentally put the phrase "die you f*cking c*nt sh*tter" in an email to my boss.
...
Me (angry): There is no lexicon for the gesture I’m making at the monitor right now.
G: I’ll try to put it into words: You are feeling avant-garde and you are saluting the screen. Close?
...
G: Forgot to mention earlier that your bling-o-meter rating has been steadily increasing to a barely credible 4.7 out of 5. At this rate, you’ll make senior vice-president for bling by the end of the year.
I’m so proud of you.
...
“This is one of the most exciting times in Horse & Hound's history”
Not as exciting as back in ’83 when they discovered that horses could fly when people weren’t looking. Ah, the memories…
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
Dating game
Thinking about the crap I went through in the past few years with relationships.
Dating within the work sphere can be messy and I should have cast the net wider, but the most recent relationship was worth it. The ex and I went through so much crap in the beginning, with the psychoPat. We stuck together through all that and it turned out to be a great relationship. Seems sad that we let something as silly as time apart and an ocean split us in the end.
Speaking of dating in the office, I think a colleague is flirting with me.
1. He sat next to me at lunch at the offsite meeting.
2. When I worked late on Monday, he walked past my desk, got to nearest phone and called me for a chat.
3. He has started a campaign of funny email sending.
Maybe I’m reading too much into it, but I just went to get some water from the cooler and he was there. He said ‘hello’ and looked at his shoe, grinning.
Did I mention that he's only 23? Why do I always attract the young ones?
Dating within the work sphere can be messy and I should have cast the net wider, but the most recent relationship was worth it. The ex and I went through so much crap in the beginning, with the psychoPat. We stuck together through all that and it turned out to be a great relationship. Seems sad that we let something as silly as time apart and an ocean split us in the end.
Speaking of dating in the office, I think a colleague is flirting with me.
1. He sat next to me at lunch at the offsite meeting.
2. When I worked late on Monday, he walked past my desk, got to nearest phone and called me for a chat.
3. He has started a campaign of funny email sending.
Maybe I’m reading too much into it, but I just went to get some water from the cooler and he was there. He said ‘hello’ and looked at his shoe, grinning.
Did I mention that he's only 23? Why do I always attract the young ones?
Cut it right
Half an hour for lunch is just enough time for me to walk into TopShop, try on about 5 things and get frustrated at the cut of the clothes, or the shape of my body, or both. I’ve done this 3 lunches in a row this week but I keep going back, and every time they actually do have a whole new range of clothes. It seems everyone is already wearing them everywhere. It’s like a form of hell/self torture/never-ending nightmare…
A small note to designers.
1. Zippers
You may have noticed that women have an hourglass figure. This means their waists are smaller than their shoulders. So it makes sense for the zip to allow enough room to go over the shoulders, not just for the narrowest part of the body. While the dress fitted fine once I got it on, trying to take it off resulted in me cutting off the circulation to my head.
2. Pleats
Don't use them. Never.
3. Long shorts
Sick of the long shorts look, but out of desparation I finally bought a pair. I look like a pirate/Avril Lavigne/lesbian. Why can't I find a skirt in this town? A simple A-line black skirt. Is that too much too ask?
4. Military jackets
I kinda like the 40's glamour revival - what they're calling the aviator theme. An beautifully tailored jacket with sharp lines works well with flowing dresses. There's something sexy about it. It's like it's 1941, you're walking home from a dance in your pretty dress and your man, on leave from the front line, had draped his jacket over your shoulders. At the moment I can't get past the amount of shiny buttons. Also, I'm a pacifist. But it's growing on me. Got my eye on a great khaki jacket, wide lapels, loads of buttons, extremely tailored. Just need the skirt to match.
5. Skirts
Knee length pencil or A-line please, in a nice warm winter fabric. Plain black. Maybe khaki.
6. Flat boots
Slouchy boots are in, to be worn over skinny jeans. Please make me a flat pair, chocolate brown, that goes over my mega fat calves. How do these women have such skinny carves? I bike ride, and run, and do weights, and yoga, swim, ballet... But still there chunky.
A small note to designers.
1. Zippers
You may have noticed that women have an hourglass figure. This means their waists are smaller than their shoulders. So it makes sense for the zip to allow enough room to go over the shoulders, not just for the narrowest part of the body. While the dress fitted fine once I got it on, trying to take it off resulted in me cutting off the circulation to my head.
2. Pleats
Don't use them. Never.
3. Long shorts
Sick of the long shorts look, but out of desparation I finally bought a pair. I look like a pirate/Avril Lavigne/lesbian. Why can't I find a skirt in this town? A simple A-line black skirt. Is that too much too ask?
4. Military jackets
I kinda like the 40's glamour revival - what they're calling the aviator theme. An beautifully tailored jacket with sharp lines works well with flowing dresses. There's something sexy about it. It's like it's 1941, you're walking home from a dance in your pretty dress and your man, on leave from the front line, had draped his jacket over your shoulders. At the moment I can't get past the amount of shiny buttons. Also, I'm a pacifist. But it's growing on me. Got my eye on a great khaki jacket, wide lapels, loads of buttons, extremely tailored. Just need the skirt to match.
5. Skirts
Knee length pencil or A-line please, in a nice warm winter fabric. Plain black. Maybe khaki.
6. Flat boots
Slouchy boots are in, to be worn over skinny jeans. Please make me a flat pair, chocolate brown, that goes over my mega fat calves. How do these women have such skinny carves? I bike ride, and run, and do weights, and yoga, swim, ballet... But still there chunky.
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
Blog blog blog
Guy from put me onto this great site today, Toothpaste for Dinner. Had to share this pic with you. It is possibly a new favourite. Love Schroedingers Decaf.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
